They were looking for another intelligent species… they only found us.

In a system at the edge of the known universe lay strange worlds, inhabited with creatures having faces only a mother could love…if they had one. The Zetenian’s heads were so disproportionate, the few attempts to give birth naturally frequently ended in the death of the carrier. What was at first a sacrifice to perpetuate the species, in time allowed their technology to evolve. They then turned to cloning and in vitro methods, avoiding the unnecessary self-inflicted carnage. Inbreeding and a poor gene pool created a detriment to the variety of their genetic lineage.

These factors contributed to a radical evolution of the mating process. In time the entire Zeten species turned into Gen Z tinder users: sapiosexuals. In just a few years they realized they received the same education and heard the identical way of thinking in the planetary standardized breeding centers. They were all eerily similar, and as such were incredibly depressed. Uprising and social unrest ran rampant as building turmoil ensued.

As a result of the Zetenian revolutionary war (trashing the whole solar system in the process), the elder council decided to send the last 10,000 Zetens left on a grand exploration mission with the remaining spaceship fleet.  But something went wrong.

They were so busy arguing with each other on the general communication channel about a certain “Kevin”, they didn’t see the gigantic wormhole looming in their path. All attempts at slamming thrusters to reverse were in vain as they were sucked through the dark vortex. As they came to a rest they dropped out of space and arrived within the solar system of Earth.

It was a beautiful summer day on the 4th of July 1947, until a swarm of weird “Russian” aircraft fell off into the Chihuahuan Desert. The US army contained them as long as they could – which didn’t last very long. Enthusiastic and energetic in the early years, the Zetens were quickly disappointed as they learned more about the human species: wars, famines, politics, Nsync, Nickelback, pineapple pizzas…

They now live among us, in mutual disinterest and ignorance. The human species remains similarly wrapped up in their own futile way of life, seeing the alien race as harmless as stray dogs. However, the Zeten race continues to pursue the research of their own individuality until they can finally regroup and get the hell out of this god-forsaken planet!